03345cam a2200265 4500 388798624 TxAuBib 20171202120000.0 010530s2000||||||||||||||||||||||||eng|u 00031415 9780609600672 0609600672 TxAuBib Barry, Dave, 1947- Dave Barry is Not Taking This Sitting Down! / Dave Barry. New York : Crown Publishers, 2000. xvii, 229 pages : illustrations ; 22 cm. Introduction -- A Few Words About the Title -- Politically Correct -- Let's Get Physical -- My Final Answer Is...Go Back to Your Spaceship, Regis -- Rubber-Band Man -- From Now On, Let Women Kill Their Own Spiders -- Here's Mud in Your Eye -- Eye of the Beholder -- Fore! -- Fore! II -- Another Road Hog with Too Much Oink -- Bon Appetit -- Road Warrior -- Weird Science -- The Tool Man -- The Toilet Police -- Smuggler's Blues -- Head to Head -- Gone to the Dogs -- The Nose Knows -- Missing in Action -- Why Abe Was a Geek -- Rock of Ages -- Mr. Language Person on Nitches, Yores, and Defective Sea Lions -- Caught Between a Czech and a Slovakia -- Parlez-Vous Francais? -- An Aesthetically Challenged American in Paris (Part II) -- A Blatant Case of Slanted Journalism -- Prison is Deductible -- How to Handle the IRS -- Coffee, Tea, or Dried Wood Chips? -- Betting on the Ponies -- My Son's College Apartment Has a Pleasant Pepperoni Motif -- The Gulf Between Father and Son is Called "Quantum Physics" -- "Day Trading for Dummies," Including Nap Times, Bankruptcy Laws -- Stay Tuned to FearPlex, for More Panic All Day, Every Day -- The Wait for the Tub is Forever Since the Frogs Moved In -- A Titanic Splash (Again) -- Blair Witch Mystery Solved: The Seal Did It -- A Rolling Stone -- Decaf Poopacino -- Good for What Ails You -- A Critic, a Crocodile, and a Kubrick..Voila! -- Grammar: De Letter of De Law -- The Unfriendly Skies -- The Sky is Falling -- Pine Sap Transfusions Could Save Your Christmas Tree's Life -- Don't Eat the Muskrats or the Poinsettia au Gratin -- Everything I Know About Dieting I learned on Leeza -- The Banzai Chef -- Turkey Day -- Independence Day -- High-Fivin', Bosom-Ogling Soccer Lizard Must Die! -- Build Yourself a Killer Bod with Killer Bees -- High-Tech Twinkie Wars Will Be No Picnic -- Be an Internet Millionaire, and We May Like You -- This Real Man Can Drive Any Truck Named Tonka -- Wrestling's Frist Rule: Cover Your "Masculine Region" -- You Don't Wanna Know What's Under His Hood -- The Boob Tube -- And Don't Forget...Tassels for All the Generals -- A Watchdog Never Drops His Guard...Except for Dessert -- Nuke the Stalker Sparrow That Fowled Fabio -- Batman to the Rescue -- The Fountain of Youth -- He Would Flee Bosoms, But His Car is Booted -- The Birth of Wail -- Survival of Mankind Rides on the Successful Pickup Line -- Baby Hormones Have Taken Over My Wife, and All I Can Say is "Waaah!" -- Today's Baby Showers Require an Ark to Haul Home the Loot -- Labor Dispute -- Voyage of the Stuffed -- My Workday: Nap, Toenail Inspection, Nap, Underwear Check, Nap. 20010630. American Wit & Humor. Essays. Humor. Comedy. Satire.